Feeling good and feeling great.
Adulthood and childhood.
Organized and lost.
Inspired and stuck.
Busy and rested.
Overcommitted and alone.
Healthy and hmmm.
My desk is like that baby shower game where the hostess has spent too much money on things she has no idea about or has spent no money and just picked up used things from around her house because she was the first one in the friend group to get knocked up and she will tell you what you actually need but will still indulge in one shower game so you feel like you had one.
I don't think I had a real baby shower. I remember my wedding shower and then there was a baby nine months later so it all kind of blends together. I'm kidding, of course, I remember the baby shower in the conference room at Eddie Bauer in the old building that became the daycare for Microsoft. The one where we got the blue and black Eddie Bauer stroller/carseat combo. I remember things.
But like that--you have to look for 60 seconds and then write down as many things as possible that you remember.
Dryer ball
wallet
microphone
pulsox
crystalc
computer
I had a week off. Not an actual week off. I worked but I didn't do any of the extras. I didn't create any curriculum, I didn't write, I didn't plan anything, I didn't convince anyone of anything. I got up, I worked, I finished working and I played. Thatcher was home all week and we had the best time. He ate lunch with Tim most days and we went for at least one walk.
A book about badges
papers with planning
cards (book cards)
mouse pad
mouse
laptop
laptop stand
I was ready to start back Sunday after he left and I couldn't. I was stuck. Flat out. On the couch with a comforter and pillow, ibuprofen and a water bottle. I don't know if I was really sick or just sad. My blood pressure was through the roof and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I slept so much. And then I woke up sicker on Monday. I still did all the things and by today I felt better. More like myself. I went to the doctor on Monday, new meds, different meds, blood pressure is becoming a habit more than a reaction--let's do something about that. And the cholesterol. Don't you think it is time we address that.
Rocks
coaster
pen
colored pencil
rocks
an easy button
a lighter, bracelets
So here I am on Tuesday, having shot my shot about a new role at work. Having re-engaged on the next best thing for Only7Seconds and two podcasts scheduled. My mom is coming to visit now that there is just one game on at a time. I read a whole book, no two whole books this weekend.
blood pressure machine
candle
book
fabric
a bill
paperbag
My desk doesn't always look like this. It is just the in-between. In between a good visit and normal. In between. Deadlines, books, assignments, thoughts, lives. Sometimes between breakfast and lunch. Between calls, meetings and connections. Between coffee and wine. And same with the rest. I'll feel better. Like my doctor said, "You are too healthy to not feel good." So, we will fix that as well. Back to normal. Back to rocks in a certain order. A book ready to edit and a blank canvas for the rest.
What does your in between look like? Oh yeah, and I miss B, it is always hard to say goodbye. Again.
What you might not know looking at this mess is how necessary it all is for the way my brain things--my wallet is here because I had to put in my insurance card to get my free covid tests, I brought up the blood pressure and plusox to plug those into my records before my appointment and the rocks live here. I work on Only7Seconds stuff in a rainbow unicorn notebook or on brightly colored paper because when you are making joy you should see it! Right? The fabric and paper bag came this week and I was on a webinar about funding for loneliness and figuring out what I was going to make with it. Penny Benjamin had the dryer ball in her mouth, I need to pay a co-pay from the last doctor's appointment. The easy button was the item we are leaving in the time capsule from the morning meeting and the book was written by a woman who died on 9/11 and I want to write a new version so I'm regularly reaching out to her sisters and publisher to get permission. See, it all ties together!
Here's to the in between moments and the actual moments, may the clutter remind you to live in the moment and may the organization of it all sooth your soul so you can sleep!
Don't judge I love my agent wired mouse.
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